I've often read that 'we are the reflection of those around us'. The people we live with or spend maximum time with have an impression on our personality. I've also heard that it's important to choose this circle wisely. In my opinion, choice really depends on what rocks our boat. What is it that makes us tick as an individual?
Given that our inner circle has a huge influence on us, it is important we are aware of who those 4-5 people are that form this circle. For many of us, it takes a few years to get to a place where we recognize this circle. It is often because we probably know and meet a lot of people in the journey of early life - especially through school, college and the workplace - and end up being part of both large and small circles. Only with time do we realize that these circles - while a lot of fun and part of our larger network - may not really be our inner circle. It also takes a few years of living to know exactly who we are ourselves and who could probably be the members of our tribe, whom we can vibe with. Often times we think there's sensibility in numbers, but the inner circle is made up of a handful that you can count on your fingers, that's also why it's really called 'the INNER circle.'
I took some time to introspect and put pen to paper! As I did, what came about were these qualities that reflect my inner circle.
Stability
One of the key factors that reflect members of my inner circle is stability. We may or may not be stable in all situations, we may be vulnerable many a times, however what's important is for us to exude stability when the situation demands. A strong mind, and strength in character led in the right direction leads to stability in personality. Situations may be awry, our mood maybe unstable but you know for a fact that the members of your inner circle with be right there, rock solid, unmoved by negativity or uncertainty of any kind.
Value system
We all grow up with different values. That's what makes all of us different from each other, each of us bringing a unique perspective. While values may be different, I believe members of each one’s inner circle will broadly have the same value system. The way I see it, value system is a set of values that make up your character. These are easily recognizable as they reflect in our personality and our habits. My inner circle is mostly made of people who are vision oriented, who have life goals, who have a fascination for the little things in life, who believe in the cycle of karma (do good and good will come to you), who generally are motivated, exude grit and determination and have a zest for life.
Learn and grow
Your inner circle is always going to have an influence on you. The question that we need to ask ourselves - Is our inner circle made up of members who are learning and growing? Because if they learn and grow, we learn and grow. The mind is constantly active and the right food for thought is key in developing ourselves. 'Learning new things' - a skill, a language, a sport, knowledge on subjects of interest, and so on is food that will keep the mind young and healthy. When my circle is constantly thinking of new things to learn, or getting deeper into learning a certain something; being in their presence, engaging in a dialogue, just the exchange of new ideas with them keeps my mind agile, growing and encourages me to be on a constant learning journey.
Inspired
The best lived life is one loaded with inspiration. Does your inner circle inspire you? While I genuinely believe that many a times inspiration has to arise from within, the right company and influence has a definite impact. Each one may have their own definition of inspiration. For me, I know there are certain things that inspire me greatly. Seeing the possession of those qualities or habits in my inner circle inspires me to follow through. This is a quality that is non-negotiable. There may be times we are not our best self and need a bit of a push. Imagine how it would be to not really be pushed but feel a surge of new found inspiration, just by being in the company of your inner circle. That's a winner.
Oneness
This is the newest virtue that I have begun to see in my inner circle. Oneness for me is a genuine understanding of the fact that we are all one, every being is connected to a universal source and there is more unity than separation. Often times, the ego and separation take over, temporarily erasing oneness from our being. Over the years, I've begun to realize the importance this knowledge holds for me. Broadly speaking, I would like my inner circle to possess a belief in unity, secularism, oneness or related concepts.
I'd say even our larger circle does reflect a few of the qualities that we feel are important to us. But our inner circle will reflect many of them. And it’s not like every member of the circle will reflect all of these qualities, but as long as they are a source of even one of them, we will find ourselves learning, growing and becoming the best version of ourselves.
I also find merit in being aware of what we do not want to imbibe from our inner circle. Let’s understand that our inner circle is closest to us. It is inevitable for us to also pick up qualities that we probably don’t want for ourselves; in all probability, the adoption of qualities from those close to us takes place sub-consciously. Being conscious of qualities in our vicinity that we would rather avoid is very important in the journey of developing who we want to be or the person we want to create of ourselves.
While we may think that we need to be able to vibe with our tribe by hanging out with similar kinds of people, doing similar activities together and so on, these usually border on superficial. The real thing about the inner circle is their overall influence on you, and hence the paramount importance on values they possess.
What are your values? What are the qualities you find are important for your inner circle to have? And why are these important to you?
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