Define Social Nomad: Traveling insanely for social interactions / engagements, spending less than 10 days at a time in the same place (including your own home)
Pre-requisites: Identification of your love for travel – the journey as much as the destination, knowing that you really trip on social interactions and great conversations
To carry: Laptop, Phone, Easy travel wear, a bike/car for easy commute, a pair of running shoes, home slippers and an openness to explore
Mandatory: Heart full of love and nurture
What you’ll find in this article: How I discovered that I am a social nomad (at least in this phase of my life) and what is it about it that leads to so much fulfilment
The last few months have been a class apart. I don’t remember when I have been more in touch with myself. At the same time, I know that the kind of social I am now is a kind of social I was maybe like 15 years ago. But back then it was probably just social, not so much of me-time. The combination of the two is so lethal that I may not succeed putting it into words.
It all started in April when we had a physical team catch up (after ages, given COVID and all) and our annual strategic meeting. It was an absolute treat since we combined it with an outbound for the team. Brainstorm sessions interspersed with Yoga and workout sessions, Engaging presentations and interactions followed by a walk to the lake and a swim in it!
The rest of April saw me in Goa – I was gone without a return ticket – booked a return after about 3 weeks and landed in Mumbai on the 24th Day 😊. The Goa getaway started with creative interactions with a group of 20 new people whom I had never met before. These exchanges went on for over 7 days. I need to give it to the Beach-House Project folks for doing such an amazing job of keeping the 20 of us engaged and really helping let our vulnerable side out. More on that in a separate article.
May is when I moved into a new home. The need for a space of my own and ‘my nesting’ instincts’ as my Mom called it would become an ideal foundation to self-discovery more than ever before. Given that I am social, it was serendipity that I had the most amazing set of neighbours who welcomed me into the apartment I was moving into. The social circle started growing in the neighbourhood… thankfully a set of people one can relate to, have deep conversations and generally be oneself and chill.
While I stayed by myself in my new apartment, I travelled quite a bit around the city for social engagements. Regular visits to my parents’, neighbour house parties, chill-time with my partner at his parents’ and meeting friends kept me socially alive. I also started travelling outside the city for social engagements and that is when it dawned upon me that I am probably a ‘social nomad’… Nomad because I hardly stayed at one place for over a week (not even my own home), and the cause for the nomadic lifestyle was engaging with loved ones socially – hence the coined term ‘social nomad’.
This piece is about a recent solo trip to Pune. Now the thing about solo trips is that it can be wonderful when you're in the mood to just be by yourself and hear your thoughts, write or experience the silence. But it can get a bit daunting if one is generally social and also likes meeting people. I love my me-time as much as I like being social. I enjoy meeting people, having great conversations, listening to their stories and experiences, understanding what makes them who they are and just learn from each other and bond at a deep human level. This trip was such a fulfilling solo trip because it really had the best of both worlds. I got to spend a lot of time by myself doing things I love - meditate, workout, run, eat, write, work, think, reflect! And each time I wanted to spend time with loved ones or socialise, I had the coolest set of friends show up.
The trip started off as a visit to a friend's place for the weekend. The idea was to drive to Pune on a Saturday morning and return on Sunday evening. While I was packing, I put in at least 3 additional sets of clothes subconsciously. My soul knew that the drive back planned on Sunday evening is going to get deferred indefinitely. But I wasn’t conscious of my soul packing more clothes until Monday morning when I looked into my bag and had fresh clothes to wear... the little things that the soul gets right!
A close college friend who married earlier this year hosted me with his wife. They were the sweetest people I've met in a while (hmm is it…I’m thinking... I've been meeting a lot of sweet people lately but these folks were totally awesome). They had taken the trouble to plan every meal, my morning coffee included (they are tea consumers so stocking up coffee especially for me touched my heart). My friend's wife specialised in some Asian and Indian cuisine that was a gastronomical delight. Piping hot home-made Red Thai Curry and Steamed Rice was served for lunch upon my arrival - I was blown away by the perfect burst of flavours, followed by Pizza for dinner, Pancakes for breakfast and Palak Paneer and Dal Vada with Roti for lunch on Sunday. From Asian to Italian and then American to Indian, my palate was truly satiated, not to forget the variety of mocktails each carefully named after their recipe.
Apart from feeling so welcome and well fed (food is such a big part of travel), the icing on the cake was when conversations flowed so freely. This friend of mine and I go way back, we went to college together. We have always held strong opinions and perspectives with complete respect and openness for the other's point of view. The beauty of the relationship comes from openness. With true authenticity and mutual respect comes great friendship. Since I have known him a long time, it was a happy moment to see him and his wife as a couple - so soothing to see a couple who were comfortable with each other's presence. They say looking at things from the outside gives you a perspective and it sure gave me one. I'm not going to delve into that but let's just say life is really simple… go about your day, accomplish what you set for yourself, share, love and live… in a nutshell that's what I gathered with these two lovelies. They read the Namaz while I meditated and chanted; and we live on to tell the wonderful story of our friendship :)
Many of my travels recently are sans a return ticket. And I totally love that. A loved one called me a social nomad recently. And I like hearing that. We are not robots to follow a schedule even during travel. I take off, and come back when I feel like I have fully experienced what I wanted to during the excursion. This trip was similar. I had no plans of returning on Sunday and I wasn’t sure when I planned to return. I had made dinner plans with another couple of friends so I knew I needed a place to stay the night. I bid goodbye to my hosts post lunch and drove down to Koregaon Park to book myself into a place to stay. I checked into a luxury hotel and spa, one that I had my eyes on for years and thought I'd stay here when the price wouldn't matter. I really missed my partner as I checked in because I did think we would come to this place together... feeling a little melancholic, I freshened up and attempted to walk to the cafe a couple of kms away when it started to pour. A kind rickshaw-wala offered a ride saving me from a drenched dinner.
I for one cannot do shallow conversations, I keep small talk a barge pole away... how's the weather, which company, what designation, your retirement plan, blah blah... I was so glad to meet a set of friends who enjoyed being genuine, authentic and liked to talk and listen. Conversations flow best when there is a perfect blend of talking, sharing, listening with empathy when you and the other can really relate to what each other have to say.
It is strange how some friendships build overtime and some others are an instant connection. This is an acquaintance from college – back then we had a separate set of friends and interacted with each other once in a while. I remember this one conversation we had – sitting on the stairs adjoining the college gate (that we called ‘tiger’s den’ :D) and I felt that we got along well. That was that. Years passed – we graduated, found jobs, found new friends, partied, encountered relationships and so on. One trip to Pune with my partner a few years ago, I just happened to reach out to this friend knowing that he had moved to the city. What a night that was – four of us (my partner and I, he and his wife) had such a gala time… we started around dinner time and went on till the early hours of the morning. That is when I realised that some friendships are built overtime. We met a few times during our Pune visits. I was by myself this visit – and met the couple for dinner at a bar. We had so much to share and so much to bond over. We had to call it a night – Monday was round the corner, also cause the music was getting louder by the hour. It was so good that both them and me felt that we must catch up the next day as well. After a lovely Monday of working during a staycation, they came over to where I stayed and this time, we went to a quiet dinner at the restaurant adjoining the hotel where I stayed.
The best part of the two-part outing was that each of us could be ourselves. Imagine a safe space where you can be vulnerable – I try to find that in all of my social interactions, but to be reciprocated with it is so rewarding! I remember my friend’s wife telling me that it is so comfortable to have conversations with people who are the same on the inside as they are on the outside, then one doesn’t have to worry about what they are thinking or whether you are being judged. I am glad she felt comfort in our interaction. My friend on the other hand spoke about relationships and vulnerability. Let me attempt to paraphrase. He said that you can fully experience a relationship only when you give into it completely. The concept of sitting on the fence in a successful relationship doesn’t exist. Success is possible only when you jump off the fence, walk into it with open arms, shed your armour, let yourself be vulnerable, be comfortable with getting hurt, nurture and love in spite of the hurt and then see your relationship blossom – standing the true test of time. Phew! Easier said than done alright! But I do see wisdom from 10 years of marriage here.
Meeting loved ones is always a pleasure. Traveling to meet them is part of the overall experience. By travel I mean going to a new place and living out of there for a few days – either within the city (like a staycation or someone else’s home) or another city/village altogether. With travel, our senses are completely taking in the surroundings. The sounds, smell and sight are different. Travel a bit farther and the weather could change too, accentuating your sense of touch. This makes the experience more experiential.
This one is to the ‘traveller in all of you’ and ‘to the social nomad in some of you’ 😊
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