The ocean has always called out to me. Growing up in an island city and the experience of sea
breeze has made me feel at home when it comes to any city or town that is lined up by the ocean.
The tropical climate, coconut trees, large expanses of green and the endless blue grey sight of the sea grow on you making you one with the wonders of nature. I travelled to Goa a few days ago with an agenda and a return ticket – the return ticket I cancelled because I did not feel like going back home, the agenda was fulfilled for the reason I had travelled here and the rest of the travel has been in a flow. Staying in 4 residences in the 23 days I am here, I have had some varied experiences. This one is on the first morning at a beach resort that I arrived on the previous day, as soon as the lockdown was announced in Goa. Since I couldn’t go out, being at a beach resort helped soak in the lush plant and tree filled surroundings, the tropical sun and the beach that was a stone’s throw away.
I was taking in the sun on the first day there, while indulging in my Yoga practice, sprawled on the vast expanse of a lawn at the picture-perfect resort overlooking the ocean in north Goa when Lena and Evan walked up to me, beaming with fascination that I could do the Chakrasana. Lena’s fascination was multi-fold as she was a yoga teacher, excited when she witnessed a student of the practise. A few asanas (by me) and some posture corrections (by her) later, I caught myself having some loving exchanges with Evan. It was so easy to chill with him, we had a definite connection. I also felt a connection with Lena. So open with her warm smile and free spirit, we could muster up a conversation with complete ease.
Evan was a free spirit too, just as his mother. While most kids I knew that age were stuck to their parents’ phones watching cartoons or glued to the television consumed by Peppa pig, Evan was out there on the lawn crawling on the grass amidst twigs, pine cones and black ants, first dressed in his jumpsuit - which came off when the sun got brighter - and then his diaper that came off at noon. He went around the lawn in his armour of nakedness, picking up twigs, studying them like they were part of his biology project, tasting firangi pani flowers that had fallen off the tree that morning while Lena and I chatted about Yoga and spirituality. I witnessed him picking out a pinecone that was in his way and toss it aside as he surged ahead on his fours. Quite some courage for a 10-month-old. I felt a bit embarrassed that I complained about the pinecones bruising my foot last evening. The things we learn from children, I learnt that ‘I was making a fuss about nothing’.
I felt my motherliness kick in when he tasted the flower, I jumped up and tried to pick it out of his mouth, but Lena seemed unaffected. It wasn’t like she did not care because I could see the gaze of nurture when she fed him or when she picked him up and spoke to him in baby language. I had to hold myself back when he was in the midst of black-ants and when I saw pinecones in the way of his quest to get to the nearest tree. I once again controlled my urge to pick him up and put him of the beach chair when he tried climbing it himself. That is when I realised that the place where I come from, we are trained to be a certain way and treat our kids in a certain way, borderline overprotectiveness. My conversation with Lena turned to what goes through her if she feels her child is in danger (black-ants and pinecones are the kind of danger I was talking about). She responded simply. She said “I once saw a cigarette butt come out of him during his morning bowels. I was so disturbed that I had overlooked when he had consumed it in one of his escapades at the lawn. But that is when I realized his body has the resistance to chuck it out, and we probably worry too much. Now I keep a close watch, but save myself the worry. He needs to build his immunity the way I see it. I let him be. Saying ‘no’ to a child, worrying about every one of their moves or training them to be, do, think the way we want them to be was unnecessary. All we need to do is do what we do, conscious of our intention and they will learn and follow us. Along the way we help them learn new things – could be a virtue, an art form or a math solution… and observe their reaction, to know what they naturally have a leaning towards.”
Witnessing Evan’s free movement, the nurture filled confidence that Lena exuded and their loving relationship catalyzed my realization that we worry too much about most things.
Life is meant to be,
It happens to us,
We are meant to flow with it, with our intentions…
We don’t really have to place worry on every event or incident.
The conversation with Lena also enlightened me about her Yoga practice. She was trained in two yoga courses – each for 200 hours. One was a teacher training course in Moscow and the other at Goa. When I shared that I was an amateur Yogi, she spoke of how we are all perennial students of Yoga, given the ocean that it is. As Evan looked a little sleepy, she played a beautiful soothing mantra on her phone… he fell asleep while breastfeeding. She shared that it was the same mantra she played when she was in labour. Evan felt a strong connection with the mantra. Once he was asleep, she mentioned the recent Deepak Chopra book she was reading. I spoke about Synchro-destiny by the same author giving her a brief synopsis – that every event or incidence is actually a coincidence – a divine coincidence is what is said – divine because these events and incidences are pieces of a larger jigsaw puzzle that we are yet to see. She seemed to hang on to every word and I knew we were at the same wavelength. At that moment, it all came together. The yoga, meditation, mantras, spiritual reading made her the worry-free nurture-filled mother she is today.
In Deepak Chopra’s words, ‘meeting her was a divine coincidence for me’, waiting to unravel the mysteries of how this encounter will play a role in my life.
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